E53: I’m grieving my husband’s death and betrayal
A grieving wife who discovered her husband's affair after his death questions her self-worth and grapples with how to mourn a relationship that is muddled with betrayal.
Listen to This Episode:
Dear Grief Guide,
Listening to your episode 49 from Faux Widow, I’m interested to know your response to the widow whose husband had an affair—who suffered the grief of her husband having an addiction. Perhaps she suspected an affair, but it was unconfirmed at the time of his death. She was devastated by the sudden loss of being widowed and had to suffer being widowed by a man she loved and sacrificed for.
She found out deep in grief she was betrayed, and was unable to confront him or feel empowered by making the choice to leave or stay. Perhaps she has to still respectfully parent the children she shared with this man and carry his memory for them.
She still grieves the love they had that was very much real but questions the validity of it knowing another woman is out there grieving the same man in a romantic way. Now she questions her worth.
Her day-to-day life is changed in every way because the primary money-earner, house security keeper, and co-parent is gone forever. The loss was traumatic and on top of that she’s carrying the weight of his betrayal.
Grief Guide, how does she rebuild her self-worth? How does she grieve a relationship that was ultimately a lie? How does she tell what was real? How does she confront the man who hurt her when she can’t—because he’s dead? How does she hold space for the other woman, honoring her value to hold up all women, but while also processing the betrayal and unwanted shared grief?
I send this with as much respect as possible, but also pain and hurt.
Signed,
The Betrayed Widow
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