E44: I don’t know if this feeling will ever end
A nursing school student who recently lost her grandmother still feels swallowed up by the pain of grief. She's wondering if or when this feeling will ever go away.
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Dear Grief Guide,
I lost my grandmother in March, and we were extremely close. Now, it’s almost October. It feels like she was here just yesterday, but also like it happened ages ago. I feel like I have no concept of time anymore.
I can’t manage the everyday tasks I need to do, and I still cry every day. When will this end? Please tell me this feeling will end.
I was supposed to be preparing for my nursing exams this year, but I just can’t do it. I can’t properly function, much less study or focus on anything academic.
Every moment feels like the “first” without her. My first summer, my first fall, my first birthday, and soon my first Christmas without her.
Is it normal to view everything this way? I don’t know anymore. Is this my new normal?
Signed,
Still Crying, Still Counting
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