E41: My loss is impacting my dating life
A young woman in the dating pool doesn't know how to talk about her brother's death with prospective partners.
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Dear Grief Guide,
My only brother died four years ago, and as a young woman, I’ve been on many dates, some more personal than others. One question that often comes up is, “Are you close with your brother?”, assumingly because I always share fun stories about my childhood and my brother is always a part of them. I feel like such a mood killer when I awkwardly laugh and plead with my date not to feel bad for me, but that my brother is dead.
I remember I was looking for advice about this years ago, and the only thing I found was saying, “I don’t have a brother.” While this certainly brings a stop to the questioning and makes things slightly less dark, I can’t speak about my brother like that. I did have a brother, and I still do. He’s just not here anymore.
How can I talk about my brother’s death without feeling like I’m looking for sympathy or killing the mood? It’s always so awkward for me.
How do you respond when someone asks about your deceased loved one? (Especially on dates?)
With gratitude,
Grieving Sister Swiping Right
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