E37: I never grieved my loss
Despite having lost both her sister and her mother, a listener feels as if she still hasn't grieved their deaths.
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Dear Grief Guide,
My younger sister, Janice, passed away four years ago on June 4th. I recently realized I have not grieved her properly. When I see posts about her or think about her, I move on quickly and do not allow myself to feel the full impact of the loss. This has left me feeling profoundly sad. She was a wonderful woman, only 63, and we used to talk nearly every day.
I was the person who had to break the news of Janice’s death to our 93-year-old mother and it was heartbreaking. She passed away 11 weeks after my sister. I was caring for her in a senior living facility and she was so sad after my sister died. I sometimes wonder if my sister’s death broke my mother’s heart, and I regularly question if I’ve really grieved my mother’s loss as well.
On the anniversary of my sister’s passing, I posted photos on Facebook and wrote some thoughts about her. When I mentioned to a close friend that I had never really grieved Janice, she wrote to me privately a day later and suggested I get some help with this loss.
I recognize I need to grieve, but I’m not sure how to process these deep losses. Do you have any advice or know of any support groups or classes that could help me navigate this grief?
Thank you so much.
Signed,
Am I Really Grieving
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