E25: My partner doesn’t understand my grief
After her father's death, a grieving woman is frustrated by her partner's distant, unsupportive behavior.
Listen to This Episode:
Dear Grief Guide,
It’s been almost five months since I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer, and I feel like I’m losing my relationship too. My partner was really supportive at first, making sure I ate and slept and got to work safely. But after my dad’s funeral, he stopped acting like anything happened.
I talked to him a couple of weeks ago, explaining that I feel like he expects me to be over my dad’s death, because I’m back at work and doing other “normal” things. But I’m not normal. I think about and miss my dad every day, and at least a few times a week, I’ll express that to him out loud.
Even so, he just doesn’t engage with me and my grief. When I tell him I feel sad or start talking about my dad, he doesn’t even acknowledge I’ve said anything. I guess he doesn’t want to talk to me about it or deal with my tears when they come.
I’m not a blubbering mess, but I’m still trying to figure this all out. Some days it’s just really heavy to carry, especially by myself.
It’s becoming more and more clear that my partner doesn't understand my grief. Have you ever had this sort of experience with a partner? How do I deal with this feeling of being “iced out” by someone who is supposed to support me? Am I the problem?
Sincerely,
Frozen Out of Love
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