E55: I’m mourning the loss of a dream

Written By Shelby Forsythia

A letter-writer is grieving the loss of a lifelong goal. After years of battling this unfulfilled longing, they feel stuck in a cycle of hope and frustration. How do you mourn a dream that isn’t entirely dead but feels out of reach?

Listen to This Episode:

Dear Grief Guide,

I’m mourning the loss of a dream. I’ve always wanted a certain piece of land—dozens of mountain or forest acres so I can live out in nature. But for various reasons, I’m not sure my dream is ever going to come true.

For nearly two decades I’ve battled this longing, hoping my dream would someday come true. But now I feel crushed. I have mourned and grieved the loss of this dream several times, but it keeps coming back. I feel haunted by it.

I’ve tried to pray away my desire, love the land and home I have, and make my current space into a beautiful paradise. I’ve tried gratitude and optimism and seeing what I have with new eyes. For so many years, I’ve tried it all. But just when I think I’ve gotten over my grief, it comes boiling up again and I go through periods where I can’t stop thinking about the land I’ve always wanted.

While this dream could possibly still be in my future, nothing is guaranteed. I feel like I can’t fully grieve because the dream isn’t entirely dead—just mostly dead. It’s like an open wound that will never heal all the way. What should I do?

Thanks,

Grieving Dreamer

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Shelby Forsythia

Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions.

Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com
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E54: I'm scared I'm moving on too soon