E35: My friend shamed me for grieving
An outraged letter-writer was recently insulted by a friend for taking time to tend to her grief over her father. When someone shames you for grieving, how do you respond?
Listen to This Episode:
Dear Grief Guide,
Recently, a friend texted me and told me that I am coddling my trauma and grief and that I am putting my feelings first. This message came at an extraordinarily low point since losing my dad, and I feel devastated.
I have lived my whole life giving and caring for others, always putting their needs above mine. This person knows that, and yet they still sent me that hurtful message.
I feel like this is the one time in my life where I should be allowed to be sad and not have to do everything for everyone. I hate people and I hate life. Even during my grieving process, I have done my best to support the people in my family and people who were close to my dad, and still, I got hit with this soul-destroying comment. It is the worst and most hurtful thing anyone could ever say to me, and I’m so angry, because this person has seen and known grief themselves.
Seriously, how could they say that to me?
I would really appreciate some comfort or acceptance. I feel so alone and misunderstood.
Thanks,
Crushed Caregiver
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